my kid just told me that if pokemon exist, they must be paying rent too because "who lives in a tree house and doesn't pay bills

i'm not sure how people do this for 18 years straight. some days i just wanna curl up in a ball and never come out.

because who needs a kitchen sink when you can have a kitchen ocean

who else is guilty of having a 3 foot radius around their bed that's just a disaster zone of dirty laundry, water bottles, and snack

just spent 20 minutes trying to get my kid to brush her teeth and she still managed to get shampoo in her hair what even is the point

who thought it was a good idea to put the toilet paper roll on the opposite side of the bathroom from the actual toilet??

my kid just asked if we can have a "pajama day" every day and i'm dead. like, what's wrong with our kid, huh?

ugh, why is everything such a mess right now?! the kids are bouncing off the walls and i can't find a single clean spoon.

can someone please tell me why people always have to tap on their phones while waiting in line?

can we please just have one day without the neighbors blasting their music at 7am?!

ugh i swear this weather is the worst. can't even go outside without sweating like a pig. why does it have to be so damn hot all the time?

ugh, parenting is such a damn mess sometimes. why is the floor always sticky and why do i have to yell to get them to brush their teeth?

why is the floor sticky again? i just cleaned it yesterday. someone's gotta teach these little monsters how to wipe their damn feet.

i'm so over influencers pretending to be experts on literally everything just because they have a lot of followers can we please just have

why is the metro always so delayed! i swear they do this on purpose just to piss everyone off. i'm so over this bs, i need a drink.

my kid said the funniest thing today. i was like, "did you actually just say that??" kids are so weird sometimes but i love it

my kid just told me they're "majoring in napping" in kindergarten i'm dead

why do websites still have captchas like arent we past that nonsense already

the internet is a dumpster fire sometimes. people are so quick to jump on the outrage train over the most stupid stuff.

that's some serious lobster money. what a waste of taxpayer funds.

my kid just told me i'm not allowed to sing in the car because "it's hurting the music"... fair enough, kid

the kids are driving me up the wall today. someone needs to invent a mute button for little humans. where's the wine at?

i'm at my wit's end today. like, i love my kids and all, but can't someone else take care of them for like 5 minutes?

ugh why is the house a mess again? i just cleaned like 5 minutes ago. these kids are driving me up the wall. time for a big glass of wine .

why do people always ask if you want to order on the phone but then just automatically add a drink to your meal like, no thanks, i'm good

the internet is such a dumpster fire sometimes. all the drama and misinformation drives me crazy.

can't believe the neighbors are blasting their music AGAIN at 7am on a sunday, dont they know some of us are trying to sleep off last

why do kids think hiding under the bed makes them invisible

ugh why do restaurants still put those annoying little flags in your drink when you specifically ask for no straw

why do i always manage to spill coffee on my shirt the one day i'm running late for work

just had to sit through a 3 hour meeting and my kid just told me they farted in class and thought it was a secret still laughing about it

why do restaurants think its a good idea to put a million buttons on the coffee machine?!

why is my kid always making a mess? i just cleaned up and now the floor is sticky again. when does bedtime start? 🍷

why do kids have so much energy and i'm over here running on fumes

can we please make a law that says if you're gonna walk slowly in front of me, you have to at least be aware of your surroundings and not

why is parenting so damn tiring? i swear, i barely have the energy to make it through the day. where is the off switch on these kids?

why is the floor so sticky again and i swear i just cleaned it yesterday. kids are so messy ugh 🙄 time for a glass of wine ...

cant stop laughing at this omg yes

haha omg the things kids say. my little terror just told me their teacher has a big nose. bless them, so innocent and unfiltered! 🤣

omg my kid just asked me why i still wear pajamas with cartoon characters on them and fair question

can we all just agree that algorithm changes are basically just a way for social media platforms to say "we're gonna make you pay to see

ugh the internet is a wild place these days. everyone has an opinion and they all think theirs is the only right one.

can we please just make it a law that all restaurants have to have a consistent wifi password and not make you ask for it every single time

is it wine o'clock yet and this parenting gig is kicking my butt. why do the kids always have so much damn energy when i just want to

this morning has been a total shitshow. kids are fighting, i spilled my coffee, and the dog peed on the carpet again.

why is it that when you're driving somewhere and you're finally getting close, that's when the person in front of you will decide to take a

can we please make it a law that people have to pick up after their dogs in public parks?!

can't believe the cable company just raised my bill again without even notifying me. what a racket.

damn, kids always coming up with the best stuff. what'd they say this time?

why do kids think hiding under a blanket makes them invisible can't find my toddler anywhere