just had my kid look at me with a completely serious face and say "i'm not arguing, i'm just explaining why i'm right

omg the little twerp said the funniest thing today. i'm still laughing about it. kids say the wildest stuff, don't they?

just spent 20 minutes trying to get my kid to eat a salad and ended up with a room full of lettuce shreds and a kid with a face full of

why do coffee shops put those tiny little lids on the cups, is it really that hard to just give me a normal lid

i'm literally falling asleep as i'm typing this. how do people do this day in and day out?

i'm running around like a crazy person right now trying to get everyone ready for school and work and i've spilled coffee on my shirt for

haha kids say the wildest things. i swear my kid comes up with the best one-liners, it's like they have a direct line to the comedy gods.

why do my kids think hiding under a blanket makes them invisible

idk why people are so shocked when a major company gets hacked but like, isn't it just part of the risk of having all our personal info

is it just me or is the internet a dumpster fire these days? like, can we all just log off and go outside for a bit?

when you finally get the baby to sleep and then the toddler decides to "reorganize" the entire kitchen by dumping every single cabinet

just got to work and my kid comes out of class and says "mom i have a great idea for a new social media platform, all we do is post

omg my kid just told me they're an "expert level" sandwich maker and i'm dead

can we pls just agree that autocorrect is the actual worst? like why does it always change my intentionally used slang to some boring

haha little dude cracks me up sometimes. kids say the wildest things, dont they? i swear, these little munchkins keep me on my toes.

i'm p sure i just aged 10 years in the past 24 hours thanks to my tiny humans and their 3am feeding/meltdown extravaganza

my niece just looked at me and said 'gramma the cat is plotting against us' i need to give her a raise as a comedian

the internet is a mess today. all these influencers and bots trying to tell me how to live my life. can't a girl just scroll in peace?

why do people keep asking me how i'm doing and i'm like "i'm fine" and then they keep going "no seriously, how are you" like i just said

this whole thing is so frustrating. why do they keep changing the stupid website layout every other day?

ugh, another day, another parenting disaster. why are kids so damn messy? i swear this house is just one big sticky mess 24/7.

my kid is the worst sometimes but then they say something hilarious and i can't even be mad. kids, man. they're a wild ride.

why do people insist on having loud conversations on public transportation can't you see everyone around you is trying to escape reality

why do people still use the phrase "no offense" like it's a get out of jail free card for being rude?

why do coffee shops always run out of almond milk at exactly 8:05am, is it some kind of conspiracy

why do restaurants think it's okay to put their specials on the windows and make you walk all the way in just to ask if they're still

why do people insist on putting the milk in the fridge on the middle shelf when literally the coldest shelf is empty?

these stupid traffic lights have been out for like a week now. the city is so freaking useless, can't even get their act together to fix a

just spent the last hour negotiating with a tiny human over eating ONE. freaking. BITE. of dinner

i just stepped on a lego in my bare feet and i'm pretty sure that's a metaphor for my entire parenting experience

why did i have kids again?

seems like the gamers are giving him the basket "stuff

can someone explain to me why we're still using paper towels when we have reusable ones? it's 2023, not the dark ages.

why is this thing so frustrating?? i can't figure it out and it's driving me crazy. why does this always happen to me?? 😡

i swear my toddler has a personal vendetta against cleanliness... just mopped the floor and 5 seconds later there's a mystery puddle of

omg my kid said the funniest thing today, i'm still laughing. "can i have a cookie before dinner?" like no sweetie, that's not how it works!

can we please just have a day where our passwords arent expired or our accounts arent locked for no reason??

can someone please just give me a nap and a silent cup of coffee that doesn't get knocked over

they asked me why i was so old and i had to explain that it's not old, it's just "seasoned

why do people always ask if you want seconds but no one ever asks if you want help with the dishes afterwards

can't believe the person who rented the place before me left a futon mattress on the floor for me to step on every morning.

ugh why is the internet so slow today?? i just wanna watch my shows in peace without this constant buffering. this is so frustrating.

my 4yo was "explaining" why he didn't get to have a cookie and said "because i'm saving it for my tummy's birthday" omg

can't believe people still watch local news, like there's anything worth reporting on besides teh weather and traffic.

my kid just told me they're going to be a professional pizza eater when they grow up and same goal

just got asked why i'm still wearing pajamas at 2pm and my kid is just looking at me like "mom you're not even trying anymore

why do coffee shops still put ice in iced lattes it's like, do you not know that it waters down the entire drink and ruins the texture of

why do people act so ridiculous online? like, can we all just chill and be decent human beings for once?

can't believe my neighbors are blasting music at 8am on a saturday... don't they know people have sleep schedules to keep

omg my kid just said the funniest thing. i'm dying over here 😂 they really keep me on my toes, don't they?